Eurovision, baby!

I should be there. I should be in Dusseldorf right now, drinking some Liebfraumilch and eating Schweinebraten and Spaetzle. But I'm not. No, I am in Hatfield drinking flat coke and eating an Aero lamb. I'm not bitter that at the very we clicked 'Purchase Tickets' some other goon was doing exactly the same thing with, apparently, a milli-second of an edge on us. No, not at all.

And now, just to rub salt in the wound, this is looking to be one of the best Eurovisions for years. Yes, I use the term 'best' lightly. So, for those of you sad enough to care (I am literally like a child going to Disneyland!), here is my list of the top ten to watch out for. Click on the song for a link to the YouTube video. Enjoy:

HUNGARY - Kati Wolf, What about my Dreams?
Kati is very smiley, and she teeters around in a teeny blue dress on big heels. It's a catchy tune, though, and the epitome of Eurovision. Bookies are backing this one!

AZERBAIJAN - Ell and Nikki, Running Scared
Well, the English lyrics are questionable, but the chorus gets right in your head.

ICELAND - Sjonni's Friends, Coming Home
This is a very happy song with brilliant brass and a lot of smiley middle aged men, but actually has a very sad story behind it. No sobbing at Eurovision!

FRANCE - Amaury Vassilli, Sognu
Just for kicks, let's throw a male tenor into the mix! France's answer to Josh Groban seems very sweet and has a spectacular set of pipes, but is Europe ready for opera?

UNITED KINGDOM - Blue, I Can
Things are looking good for the UK because this isn't too bad. I would even bet we'll get more than "nil points!" We can't win, though - we spent all the money on the Olympics and the Queen!

SWEDEN - Eric Saade, Popular
Hello Sweden! It's got a good dance and Eric is, well, beautiful. Completely unsingable tune, though. I'll give him 12 points just if he manages to sing it all in tune live!

FINLAND - Paradise Oskar, Da Da Dum
This cute little eco tune will be on film soundtracks and adverts before you know it. Very sweet and singable, this would be a welcome change from the ESC's usual big hair, big heels, big pyros winner!

ROMANIA - Hotel FM, Change
It's like a new Cliff Richard has risen from the ashes of a Romanian orphanage. No seriously, this band is fronted by a very Northern man called Dave, who moved out there as a missionary (go Dave!!), met his wife and stayed there. It's cheesy, smiley, fun and just made for the ESC.

DENMARK - A Friend in London, New Tomorrow
This is one of my favourites. Not incredibly Eurovision-y but the front man has remarkable hair and it sticks right in your head all day long. It's anthemic pop-rock - what's not to love?!

and finally...
IRELAND - Jedward, Lipstick
I hate that Jedward have tainted Eurovision with their stupid hair, inability to sing, annoying vioces and even more infuriating faces. But, this song was made for the ESC. Dammit.

There you go. I think it's worth pointing out here that there are some other notable acts (Estonia, Russia, Switzerland, Serbia and Georgia all have the legs) ready to camp it up. And, of course, look out for the joke entrants Moldova (wearing enormous hats) and Bosnia and Herzegovina (an old guy and some very suspect dancing). So, get your face paints out, cook up some bratwurst and get ready for the biggest, campest, most star-spangled x-factor bootcamp you've ever seen.

www.eurovision.tv/
www.youtube.com/user/eurovision