Books: The Alchemaster's Apprentice

The Alchemaster's Apprentice

Author: Walter Moers

Success! I have now read all but one of Walter Moers wildly imaginative jaunts in Zamonia, and it was a classic. In short, Echo is a Crat (yes, Crat) who, when faced with starvation, strikes up a bargain with a dangerous and sinister Alchemist called Ghoolion; in exchange for abundant and extravagant food and lodging, at the next full moon Echo must be boiled down for his fat. Of course.

The book is, of course, brimming with Moers' brand of description which so seamlessly blends scientific facts and completely imaginary nonsense. The Alchemaster treats the crat to the most wonderful array of the world's cuisine, as well as providing Echo with some out-of-body experiences under the influence of some rather powerful potions. Though the book seems to trundle along, taking in the sights and sounds of the Alchemaster's laboratory, the threads are gently being woven together and the final climactic scene is quite spectacular.

City of Dreaming Books is still my favourite Zamonian tale so far, but this one is pretty close. Funny, intruiging and mind-boggling bizarre, there really is no other storyteller like Moers.

My rating: **** 4/5 stars

Recommendation: As a stand alone this is a great book, not mentioning too much of Zamonia's other stories and anecdotes. Definately start with Captain Bluebear if you want to get stuck into this guy's writing.

Films: The Illusionist (2010)

The Illusionist (2010)
Dir: Sylvain Chomet
Cast: Jean-Claude Donda, Eilidh Rankin

The premise is simple. The old world of wonder and illusion is being cruelly overpowered by rock and roll, screaming girls and 'The Industry.' Old is good, new is bad.

The Illusionist is a dying breed and finds himself systematically rejected and chucked out of the grand concert halls of his hey-day and into grimy pubs and garden parties. With his grumpy rabbit, he trundles off to Scotland in search of work. Staying in a cosy pub in the highlands, he meets Alice, a little girl who truly believes in his magic. They set off on an adventure to the big city, where the illusionist is forced to beg and borrow in order to keep his little companion's dreams alive.

The film is simultaneously beautiful and tragic. The characters are over-exaggerated caricatures of reality, but somehow believable. However, it is the artwork in the animations which demands the greatest praise. The scenery is incredibly detailed - almost real in many scenes. The film is virtually silent, with very little dialogue and no soudtrack to speak of. But there is great power and storytelling in the movements, actions, colours and images that play out on screen.

My rating **** 4/5 stars
Recommendation: This is a genuinely engaging animation, but if you are not a fan of ciné or prefer your characters to garble Sorkin-esque dialogue, then this is probably not your bag.

Eurovision, baby!

I should be there. I should be in Dusseldorf right now, drinking some Liebfraumilch and eating Schweinebraten and Spaetzle. But I'm not. No, I am in Hatfield drinking flat coke and eating an Aero lamb. I'm not bitter that at the very we clicked 'Purchase Tickets' some other goon was doing exactly the same thing with, apparently, a milli-second of an edge on us. No, not at all.

And now, just to rub salt in the wound, this is looking to be one of the best Eurovisions for years. Yes, I use the term 'best' lightly. So, for those of you sad enough to care (I am literally like a child going to Disneyland!), here is my list of the top ten to watch out for. Click on the song for a link to the YouTube video. Enjoy:

HUNGARY - Kati Wolf, What about my Dreams?
Kati is very smiley, and she teeters around in a teeny blue dress on big heels. It's a catchy tune, though, and the epitome of Eurovision. Bookies are backing this one!

AZERBAIJAN - Ell and Nikki, Running Scared
Well, the English lyrics are questionable, but the chorus gets right in your head.

ICELAND - Sjonni's Friends, Coming Home
This is a very happy song with brilliant brass and a lot of smiley middle aged men, but actually has a very sad story behind it. No sobbing at Eurovision!

FRANCE - Amaury Vassilli, Sognu
Just for kicks, let's throw a male tenor into the mix! France's answer to Josh Groban seems very sweet and has a spectacular set of pipes, but is Europe ready for opera?

UNITED KINGDOM - Blue, I Can
Things are looking good for the UK because this isn't too bad. I would even bet we'll get more than "nil points!" We can't win, though - we spent all the money on the Olympics and the Queen!

SWEDEN - Eric Saade, Popular
Hello Sweden! It's got a good dance and Eric is, well, beautiful. Completely unsingable tune, though. I'll give him 12 points just if he manages to sing it all in tune live!

FINLAND - Paradise Oskar, Da Da Dum
This cute little eco tune will be on film soundtracks and adverts before you know it. Very sweet and singable, this would be a welcome change from the ESC's usual big hair, big heels, big pyros winner!

ROMANIA - Hotel FM, Change
It's like a new Cliff Richard has risen from the ashes of a Romanian orphanage. No seriously, this band is fronted by a very Northern man called Dave, who moved out there as a missionary (go Dave!!), met his wife and stayed there. It's cheesy, smiley, fun and just made for the ESC.

DENMARK - A Friend in London, New Tomorrow
This is one of my favourites. Not incredibly Eurovision-y but the front man has remarkable hair and it sticks right in your head all day long. It's anthemic pop-rock - what's not to love?!

and finally...
IRELAND - Jedward, Lipstick
I hate that Jedward have tainted Eurovision with their stupid hair, inability to sing, annoying vioces and even more infuriating faces. But, this song was made for the ESC. Dammit.

There you go. I think it's worth pointing out here that there are some other notable acts (Estonia, Russia, Switzerland, Serbia and Georgia all have the legs) ready to camp it up. And, of course, look out for the joke entrants Moldova (wearing enormous hats) and Bosnia and Herzegovina (an old guy and some very suspect dancing). So, get your face paints out, cook up some bratwurst and get ready for the biggest, campest, most star-spangled x-factor bootcamp you've ever seen.

www.eurovision.tv/
www.youtube.com/user/eurovision

Films: StarShip

Starship (Star Kid productions)

Dir: Matt Lang

Cast: Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, Joe Walker, Joe Moses, Dylan Saunders, Meredith Stepien, Brant Cox, Brian Holden...

YouTube gets all the fun. A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel and now, Starship.

The show is about a bug called Bug, who has higher aspirations than being a lowly egg-planter or doomed to serve as 'nutrition' for the Overqueen. Bug wants to be a StarShip Ranger, the coolest, most badass guys and girls surfing through space. But he isn't a human. And that's a problem. However, when a group of rangers end up in BugWorld, Bug finds that he has more in common with his StarShip heroes than he thinks.

It is fair to say that StarKid Productions have certainly kicked it up a notch for this show. That's a joke that you'll get when you watch it. The script, staging and music are all better. Not to mention the puppetry which blends perfectly into the action. The new StarKids are all worthy members of the team, particularly Meredith Stepien, who plays super-cyborg Mega Girl.

Massive props must be given to Joey Richter who has risen from his Ron Weasley days a better singer and actor (I know, impossible, right?!) and, my goodness me, even more hot! My absolute favourites in this show though are three StarKid old timers - Lauren Lopez (who is hilarious as a badass mexican), Joe Walker (he's got no balls, but he's got heart!), and Dylan Saunders (who plays both an insanely sweet simpleton, and a terrifyingly sexy evil super villain. And Saunders gets the shows best songs, with the exception of Bug's anthemic 'I wanna be a Starship Ranger!'

The songs and characters might not be instantly as memorable as those from the Potter musicals, but rest assured, Starship is going to reel in some massive hits on YouTube from its dedicated (and in some cases, oddly obsessive) fan base. Go be one of them!

My Rating: **** A few bum choices for singers (seriously, February?!) but over all, a StarKid marvel!

Recommendation: At 3.5hrs it's a commitment but hang in there for some vintage Joe Walker and Joey Richter in Act 2...

You can read about my slightly unhinged dedication to the starkid cause on my other blog, here.

Neville is the new RPatz!

So, it appears Neville Longbottom was a late bloomer. Matthew Lewis, you are a gorgeous northern man! Neville was always my hero throughout all of the books. Right from The Philosopher's Stone when he is awarded house points for courage. And, not wanting to give anything away for those of you who haven't read the books, but Deathly Hallows is Neville's big moment. Eeeek. I am more excited than a kid in a sweet shop!

Step aside Potter, Weasley and you, miss Granger - Longbottom is in the building!

The Starship Has Landed!

Team StarKid (of The Very Potter Musical and Very Potter Sequel, fame) have had a busy few months, writing, performing, filming, editing and building-up their latest musical extravaganza - Starship.

And now the wait is over, because non Statesiders such as you and I can now watch the entire show in all of its glory on YouTube. Yes! Needless to say, I am pretty excited. Joey Richter and Joe Walker in lead roles, with another super-sounding score by Darren Criss. Perfect!

Now I just need to find 3.5 hours spare...hmm...

In the meantime, head on over to the Team StarKid YouTube Channel and get watching. Post up your reviews as comments if you fancy. My review will be up in no time!

Enjoy :-)